


so in love with you am i

by deathbysandblk



Series: Fic Letters [3]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe, Couples Costume Contest, Drunk Patrick, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Halloween, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbysandblk/pseuds/deathbysandblk
Summary: “If we participate in this, we don’t actually have to be a real couple. We just have to make it look like we are a real couple.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Fic Letters [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665292
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	so in love with you am i

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lucianowriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucianowriter/gifts).



“You will never believe what I just found,” said a very enthusiastic Patrick as he entered his apartment. His two roommates stared blankly back at him and Patrick asked, “What? You don’t want to guess?”

Stevie was the first to answer, replying only with, “Why guess when we’ll most likely be wrong and you’re just going to tell us anyway?”

“Yeah and unless the answer is better clothes or a way to convert the entirety of the world to night owls so 9 am and I never have to see each other again, I’m not interested,” David said, grasping onto his mug of coffee as if it was his life source, which considering he was once again forced awake before 10 am because of work, it kinda was.

“Oh, come on, you two! Show a little more enthusiasm! I have a feeling you’re gonna really like this.”

“This” turned out to be a flyer for a couples costume contest at their favorite bar in town. 

Stevie and David both stared at the flyer confusedly and then looked back at Patrick.

“Is this what you meant to show us?” David asked. 

Patrick nodded eagerly and said, “I’ve solved our rent problem this month!”

“Oh, is this flyer $500 in disguise?” asked Stevie, her snark level reaching an all-time high.

“No, but look!” Patrick pointed at the flyer. “The winners get $500!”

“Okay, but it also says participants must be a real couple. All of us are stuck on the ‘forever alone’ train, remember?”

“Umm, speak for yourself, Stevie. Just because Eva hasn’t returned any of my calls doesn’t mean we’re done. She could just be busy or—,”

“Don’t start fighting again, you two, you’re not understanding my idea!” Patrick said. 

“Well, have you tried, I don’t know, explaining it? You know, it’s that thing where you open your mouth and the words coming out actually make sense.”

“I’m with David on this one, Patrick. Start talking.”

“If we participate in this, we don’t actually  _ have  _ to be a real couple. We just have to make it  _ look _ like we are a real couple.”

“So, are you suggesting all three of us dress up for this couples costume like a throuple?” asked Stevie. “I’m still recovering from the whole Jake fiasco so no offense, but I’m not really down for that.”

“No, I was thinking maybe David and I could be the couple—pretend couple—,” he amended, “or you know, Stevie and I could,” he added. “I just figured with your history, you two wouldn’t want to revisit—”

“Yeah,  _ no _ , not going there,” Stevie exclaimed. “And, Patrick, you know I love you, but if you and I pretended to be a couple, that would end in disaster.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’ve seen sock puppets that have more chemistry than the two of us.”

David laughed so hard he started choking and when he finally stopped he said, “Thanks so much for aiding me, not like I could have died or anything.”

“It would have been karma for laughing,” said Patrick. 

“Woah, someone’s in trouble,” Stevie murmured. “I’ve never seen you so cutthroat, Patrick.”

“I really want to win this thing. Then rent will be taken care of and we can focus on other things.”

“Okay so, David? Patrick? Are you good with being the couple?”

Patrick nodded quickly, face bright red, while David hesitated, “I’ll do it, but only if I get to be in charge of costumes. The last thing I need in this situation is to be wearing Patrick’s clothes too.”

Patrick got really quiet then and David didn’t even seem to notice, leaving the room to get started on designs. 

Stevie fixed Patrick a tea and sat down beside him. “You look like you could use this.”

“Thanks, Stevie.” He took a sip and then asked, “Is this a horrible idea?”

“You know David, he’s oblivious. And stupid. I love the guy, but he lives with his foot half-in, half-out of his mouth.”

“It’s not his fault. It’s not like I’ve ever told him I’m gay, let alone—,”

“That you have a big gay crush on him?”

“Yeah. That,” Patrick said, taking another sip of his tea. 

“This was a cool idea to get rent money and all, but you don’t have to do this. I know I kinda pushed you two together for this, but the minute he’s an asshole to you, I pull out my sock puppet costume,” Stevie said, pulling a laugh from Patrick. 

“I’m a big boy, Stevie. I can pretend to be his boyfriend for a few hours. It was my idea, after all.”

“Good luck to you. And hey, if you don’t win, you’ve always got ‘be gay, do crime’ as an option.”

***

Days passed and Patrick tried to get David to tell him his plans for their costumes, but he insisted they be kept secret until the day of the contest. 

Patrick tried not to freak out about this. Having been friends with David for most of his life and roommates with him for a good chunk of time, he knew whatever David was making would be magnificent. It’s just that Patrick knew himself: how competitive he was and also how much of a control freak he could be, and so the fact that he knew nothing was stressing him out. 

***

The day of the party finally arrived and David sat Stevie and Patrick down on their couch to do a grand reveal of the costumes he had made for himself and Patrick. He unveiled them and watched their faces, eager to see their reactions.

“David, these are incredible!” Patrick exclaimed. “I know how hard you’ve been working on these and it really paid off!”

“Uhh, what are these from?” Stevie asked.

David and Patrick both turned to look at her, identical looks of disbelief on their faces. 

“Umm, excuse me, these are Emily and Victor’s outfits from  _ The Corpse Bride _ , can’t you recognize them? We just watched that movie like last month. I’m reconsidering our friendship, Stevie,” David replied. 

“You two watched that movie. I fell asleep, remember?”

“Ohhhh, that’s right. She was just getting over a cold at the time. Cut her some slack, David.”

“Fine,” David sniffed. Then he turned to Patrick and said, “I hope you’re okay with wearing the one for Victor. I spent forever perfecting this dress and I envisioned myself wearing it, so.”

“That’s fine, David, whatever works best for you.”

The two of them got dressed and then Stevie whipped out a camera and started taking pictures. 

“Are you going to be doing that  _ all  _ night?” David asked. 

“Yes. Watching you two fumble with being a fake couple is going to be entertaining. And before you even think about stealing my camera battery, David Rose—yes, I recognized that look on your face—I have several back-up batteries and so you won’t be able to stop me from documenting every possible moment of what is sure to be a beautiful disaster of a night.”

Patrick shot her a warning look and she merely shrugged and smirked, continuing her photo-taking. 

***

They got to the bar and settled into a booth. The contest wasn’t going to start for another hour so they decided to grab some drinks. David slid into the booth and then Patrick sat beside him, with Stevie next to him. Stevie put some distance between them and David asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m giving the happy couple some space. Now cuddle up to your man and act like you like each other!”

David grumbled but did as she requested and snuggled up next to Patrick. Patrick put his arm around David, pulling him even closer to his side, and Stevie just winked at him while David took a sip of his drink. 

“Oh, I think I see a friend over there, I’m gonna go talk to them,” said Stevie, standing up abruptly and walking to the other side of the bar. 

“Stevie? Having another friend? I find that unlikely. She probably just sees a hot girl she wants to hook up with,” David griped as he downed a good third of his drink in one sitting.

“Is this okay, David? We don’t have to be sitting quite this close if you don’t like it.”

“No, no, this is fine. I’m just incredibly thirsty. See?” David asked as he finished off his drink. 

“Can I get you another one?”

“That would be great, thank you, Patrick.”

As he got out of the booth, Patrick kissed his forehead and said, “I’ll be right back.”

David couldn’t stop fidgeting, feeling really awkward being left alone in the booth. He tried not to think about how he wanted that kiss on the forehead to have been on his lips instead. 

He had always liked Patrick, but he had always known Patrick was too good for him and would never return his feelings and so he often distracted himself with meaningless flings. Eva was the last person he had been with, but he was tired of pretending that he wanted anyone other than Patrick. 

That’s why this whole plan of Patrick’s made him nervous. His feelings were real and this whole thing was a sham to get rent money. 

Patrick returned, pulling him from his thoughts. He handed him his drink and David thanked him. 

“I think they’re about to start the contest soon. We should probably get ready to head to where everyone else is gathering.”

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that.”

Patrick held out his hand, helping him out of the booth, and the two of them headed hand-in-hand to where they were supposed to go. 

They stepped forward and showed off their costumes when it was their turn to do so, and then the voting started. All the contestants were asked to sit down and it was announced that the winner would be revealed once all the votes were in. 

Patrick and David headed back to their booth and Stevie, along with her new acquaintance, brought them over some shots before quickly disappearing again. Stevie’s parting words to them were “I won’t be coming home tonight. Have fun, you two! Don’t get too drunk!”

“Don’t get too drunk, she says, as she brings us each 4 shots after we’ve both had two drinks,” Patrick says. 

“Yes, well, that’s the Stevie way: thinking all of us can drink on her level.”

“Are we gonna regret this?”

“Oh, absolutely we are! Cheers!” said David as he and Patrick clinked their first shots together and downed them. 

They quickly downed their other shots and Patrick’s head was swimming. 

“Okay, yeah, that was a mistake prolly,” he slurred.

“You doing okay, buddy?” 

“Yeah, I just need some water. That was too much too fast.”

“Okay, of course, I’ll get you some water.”

Patrick put his head on top of his arms which were on the table. He jumped when David, having returned, put his hand on his shoulder to get his attention. 

“Here, drink this. Do you want to go home? I can call us an Uber.”

“No, I just want to sit for a while.”

The two of them sat in silence for a bit before Patrick mumbled, “Canyoucuddleuptomeagain?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I asked if you could cuddle up to me again. It was nice. I like having you near me.”   
  


“Yeah, sure. Just don’t fall asleep, okay? You may have strong baseball muscles, but I’m not so gifted in that department and wouldn’t be able to lug an unconscious you around.”

“Oh, you’re plenty gifted in the muscles department, David. You have really nice arms.”

David froze, unsure of what to think. Patrick was just really, really drunk. He was saying all kinds of wild things. They didn’t mean anything. 

“Oh, do I? My arms aren’t exactly something I pay attention to.”

“Well, I do. But I pay attention to everything you do. You’re gorgeous, David. So gorgeous it hurts me sometimes.”

“Patrick, we should get you home. You’re clearly very drunk.”

“I may be drunk, but I know what I’m saying to you, David. I’ve kept this from you for far too long. I—”

Just then, the person hosting the couples costume contest announced the winners. They did not win, but Patrick was too drunk to notice and David was too stunned to care. The contest did not matter at all at this moment. All that mattered to David was getting Patrick to finish his sentence and all that mattered to Patrick was finishing his sentence. 

“You were saying?” David asked, trying not to get his hopes up. 

“I’ve liked you for  _ such _ a long time, David. I know you probably won’t believe me because of how drunk I am, but it’s true. Stevie knows and if she weren’t otherwise occupied at the moment, I would have her back me up on this.”

“We need to get you home, Patrick,” David said with finality to his tone, and Patrick merely nodded in agreement, saddened by the fact that David didn’t even acknowledge his confession. 

***

Morning arrived and Patrick knew it even before opening his eyes, he felt the sun on his face, and the pounding of his head. He wasn’t sure why exactly, but he had this sense that something had gone terribly, terribly wrong the night before. 

David came into the room carrying a glass of water and two aspirin and immediately, Patrick remembered why he had that feeling. He couldn’t even bear to look at David, he was so embarrassed and sad that David had not said anything to address what he had told him the night before. 

David handed him the aspirin and the water and he took them gratefully. David was about to turn and leave the room, but Patrick couldn’t let that happen. He needed an answer. He needed to know what David felt, even if it was just that he didn’t feel the same way. Patrick could accept that. But he needed David to say  _ something.  _

“I meant what I said, you know.”

David froze and whipped back around, eyes wide open. “Excuse me?” he whispered.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, David, and I know I was really drunk, but I meant what I said. Every word of it. I have liked you for so long. I’m sorry I never told you. And I’m sorry if this ruins things between us. I just, I needed you to know.”

David sat down on the edge of his bed and didn’t say anything. Patrick, although worried, knew that David was most likely processing and just needed some time.

“I didn’t want to hope it was true,” he finally said, quietly. 

“It is true.”

“People say all kinds of things when they’re drunk, Patrick. And a lot of times, they’re meaningless. At least, that’s my experience.”

“I know that, David, and I’m sorry. But my feelings for you are very real and they are far from meaningless.”

“Oh god, I didn’t mean that, Patrick! I didn’t mean to imply—, oh god,” he started pacing, waving his hands around, not knowing what to do. Patrick got up, albeit a little unsteadily, and walked over to him, steadying him. 

“David, stop! Just look at me!”

The two of them stood looking at each other, David’s eyes wandering down to Patrick’s lips. 

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” Patrick asked.

David nodded and then the two of them kiss, entranced by a moment neither of them thought they would ever get, and it is incredible. Finally, they pull away, needing to breathe some time, and Patrick said, “It’s a damn shame we didn’t win the costume contest though. Those costumes really were spectacular.”

“You know what? I don’t care that we didn’t win because I won something even better,” David said as he pulled Patrick in for another kiss. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is part 3 of my "Fic Letters" series, but once again, is a standalone fic. This is for my good friend Mary! Ily! <3 
> 
> I'm over on twitter @whaddyameanno


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